And now to depress the shit outta you...

Anyone else here think about death? About dying and what if anything comes next? I do. Every fucking night I hope that I'll make it to the next day. Seriously, literally every night.  It's fucked up. I don't let it affect me (well I think it doesn't affect me) but the thought is always hanging around like a harbinger of well...death. Haha! And when you think (obsess?) about a subject, any subject for a long time you eventually come to some sort of understanding I guess of the whole thing. It's the finality of death which freaks me out I think. And I'd love to believe that the people I love who have died are in a better place. I'd love to believe that my grandmother is in heaven with my uncle. All my friends who went too soon are there. I'd truly love to believe that. I want to believe. I want to believe. De Fox Mulder. In fact, I sometimes wonder if fear of death is one of the driving forces behind religion. It's like "hey guys guess what, when you cease, you actually gone on to another level in spirit form" and the other peeps are like "and who told you that?" and the first dudes like "god. god told me that" and everyone else is like "hallllllaluia!!!!". Shit I don't know. Another thing...we truly live on the sufferance of the universe. Between each breath we take nothing is guaranteed.  There's a sort of grace, a type of elegance about that thought. We breathe, we shit, we fuck, we laugh, we cry, we live! Fucking make the most of it because there's a very real chance that this is the ONLY shot we get! So go out there and be a fucking animal this weekend! Woooooo hooooooooo!